If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
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