That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
MOMMMMMMMMMMAYYY! YOU BIRFED ME TODAYY. IM CELEBRTIN ON YUR BEHAF! THANK YOU!!!!!
I always hoped you would never inherit this side of my personality. Hon, trust me, you're a mess. Go to bed...alone. xoxoxo
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
Me and your penis are best friends. You don't know it, but I whisper my secrets whenever I give you blowjobs. We even have a secret handshake. We can't be separated from each other. We just can't.
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
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