It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
I understand Curling. That high.
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
dude, i have to cancel tonight, my neighbor just bought a goat
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
I asked him if we were exclusive and he followed up with, "If a tree falls in the woods and no ones around, does it still make a sound?" Wtf am I supposed to do with that?!
Randomize
