Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
Randomize
