dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
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