Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
composition of my stomach right now: 60% C8H10N4O2 * H2O (coffee), 20% CaCO3 (pepto bismol/tums), 10% HCl (stomach acid), 5% fried rice, 5% residual adderall. i can do that by percent mass too. fuck you finals.
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
Randomize
