I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
did I really admit that id have sex with that cougar had I been more drunk?...ugh...i need to masterbate more
Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
The best thing happened. Some guy was butchering Conway Twitty at karoke and the power went off in the whole bar. And someone shouted "you pissed jesus off when you messed with conway!"
17 year olds will be the death of me.
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
Randomize
