DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
I love our relationship. We just get drunk, show each other our tits, demonstrate sexual positions and make pasta. Then you go to bed and I sit around with your mom and cry about how proud of you we are.
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
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