I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
My phone keeps autocorrecting to the "st. Natty's Day Parade" and I'm completely okay with that
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
He motorboated me, gave me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
Randomize
