my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
I hope in my next life I'm a sterile trophy wife. With a husband who showers me in wealth and gifts but can't get a hard on. Do you think my karma is good enough for that?
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
Taylor Swift needs more songs about threesomes. I'm not sure she gets me anymore.
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
Randomize
