If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
Acid is not a monday night drug
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to.
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
Randomize
