do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
maybe i would like her more if 99% of her sentences didn't start with "yesterday when i was reading twilight..."
Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
I've had more lap dances than hrs of sleep since Thursday, this is why you're planning all three of my bachelor parties
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
Randomize
