Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
Randomize
