3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
No no no, work drunk and day drunk are totally different. I got drunk with a client and made a huge sale at 1pm. You are still in your PJs and jacking off.
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
Randomize
