do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea
I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
Randomize
