I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
just threw up on dog. broke microwave with cheese and spoon. having a bath with my barbies singing final countdown.
before you ask yes i found the absinthe under your bed. ITS THE FINAL COUNTDOWWWWNNNNNN
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
Randomize
