My grandmother just called to say she disowned me. Apparently I uploaded a video to Youtube of me dancing nude with a blow-up doll named Dorothy, last night. You are so fired from being damage control.
It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
a search helicopter?!
Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
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