After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
shit is crazy. i just keep thinking that this kid growing inside Emily used to live in my balls.
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
So the first 4 hours of my morning was equivalent to seeing under water. Things were starting to get better until I remember I drank mustard for free stuff and flossed my teeth with a strand of hair from a stranger in the bathroom.
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
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