i jhust puked up my retainher.
I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
Cutting up lines with the edge of my birth control packet. Just reminding you this is the person you've CHOSEN to be monogamous with.
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
Randomize
