i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
I've decided to become a librarian so I can drunkenly quote The Mummy and have it be legit.
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
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