So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
You only ask me to come over when your gf is gone, and thats usually at midnight to cook chicken salad and watch you pass out
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
I just made the pizza guy say helicopter six times in order to get his money. Even he knows how stoned we are.
Unlike bears, this weekend is not the #1 threat to America. It is, however, the #1 threat to my liver
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
Randomize
