If i come over, it means nothing
I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
He snuck into some random hotel's continental breakfast at 3 AM and then passed out on a bench in the lobby. When the cops found him they made him empty out his pockets. No phone, no ID just muffins.
A freshman just referred to Home Improvement as 'tim the tool man show'. People born after 1990 are not people.
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
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