i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
Walked into the bathroom and saw a Minion eating out Harley Quinn so this Halloween will be hard to top.
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
Randomize
