Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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