does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
Her stepmother interrupted our sex to tell her it was midnight and she wanted to do a sympathy shot for her 50th.
Don't break up.
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
I'm in the recliner and i have a bottle of wine wedged in my cleavage, drinking from a straw. Clever and classy or pathetic and sloppy?
Randomize
