Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
Shit ive learned: when going out to a party, always wear a bathing suit underneath just in case theres a pool with a roof next to it
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
Randomize
