At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
Having a midget officiate your wedding because you think it'd be hilarious: good idea or potential lawsuit?
Yeah, surprised you made it on time this morning. Remarkable, considering 2 hours ago you were pretending to be talking window curtains.
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
Any chance he has an open marriage? That penis shouldn’t be wasted on one woman. It should be shared with all womankind, or at least me. I’m too good at sex to be deprived a penis that large
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize
