just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
I'm literally trapped as the little spoon on a mattress on the floor of an unfinished basement with a professional athlete snoring in my hair
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
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