Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
Just tried to use the bottle of Sprite in my car as mouthwash to get the taste of puke out of my mouth- it's half vodka. Puked again. Thanks man.
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
Thats the last time im "arresting" you to get out of paying your bar tab.
What?! The only reason I married your sister is to have a Cop in the family!
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
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