Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
The cab driver referred to me as his little gumdrop, im sure he won't feel the same when he sees the vomit all over his floor.
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
I've been up for almost three hours and it took me until JUST NOW to figure out that what I'm tasting isn't blood, just the minerals in the water. Fuck hangovers, man.
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
I swear to god my spidey sense only tingles when someone’s about to die or you’re being a hoe.
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize
