Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
Fourth time I had to be woken up in the line of Whataburger in two weeks. First time my shirt was free of vomit.
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
Just woke up to find that I'd left a stove burner on for the past 6 hours or so. I'm now banned from Ambien cooking.
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
Randomize
