Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
The cops found weed in michael jacksons house today...it makes up for the child molesting, I like him more now.
Just figured out why my bed smells like weed: I just found a bowl in my pillow case?
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
You were mounting an escalator last night, shouting "I have no health insurance" at people
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
The dude at Coffee Bean just handed me my tea latte and whispered, "pomegranate blueberry is such a sexy flavor". With a wink. I'm almost certain that there's an STD floating around in my drink.
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Randomize
