people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
His glasses broke on the way to the bar aNd he ended up talking to this butterface all night. I didn't have the heart to tell him
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
I don't know what part of my sober brain thought it was a good idea to get stoned when I can barely walk with crutches as it is, but that part is stupid.
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
Randomize
