Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
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