I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
Life lesson: if you fart while talking to a girl outside, the smell does not dissipate, it just lingers around mocking you
I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
I had a dream that chipotle was out of burritos... Was more like a nightmare.. Gotta go make sure it wasn't real now
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
Being drunk at Chick-fil-A is a dystopian experience
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
Randomize
