you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
the bouncer watched the girl drop her ID, saw me pick it up and say OMG SHE LOOKS LIKE ME, and then let me use it to get into the bar
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
Hey, thanks for not calling the cops when I answered the door naked, high as fuck, and covered in red velvet cake batter.
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
Randomize
