come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
Dad's drunk, trying to hook me up with a 43yo, and keeps saying one and done. Mom is on the verge of tears and disowning us. You missed a good birthday dinner.
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
Randomize
