Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
Moved my bed either I'm a whore or every guy I have ever slept with hid condom wrappers under my bed
my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
God gave him joint rollers for hands
Why the fuck did you text me at 4 in the morning telling me not to have sex with the bird?
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
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