Last night I broke through a door, was hospitialized, arrested, and threw my shoe at a bouncer. This summer is gonna be fuckin sick.
just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
I overheard a kid saying to his mom at Walmart: "Mommy.. should we buy cups for daddy's spit?"
I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
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