He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
Killed two birds with one stone: found my wallet and unclogged the toilet.
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
Did I actually say goodbye last night or did I just poison you with vodka and disappear?
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
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