my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
Show him your tits if he says no
They're not help-me-out-of-jams tits. They're I-fake-people-into-thinking-they-look-good tits.
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
Breaking news: when you're gone every towel is a dick towel
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
Randomize
