We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
Please don't call my dad a fuckpuppet, I feel like that would be awkward to explain later.
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
I love you.
Bad choice
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
Randomize
