i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
He used the ring emoji and we've gone out four times. What is my life.
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
Randomize
