You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
PS: I just woke up from my shower
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
My phone autocorrects "pooping" to "popping" and I'm like DO YOU EVEN KNOW ME??!
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
Randomize
