What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
After last night, I think I need a service animal to monitor the life choices I make when I'm inebriated. A monkey, or a clever dog. Or a really assertive parrot.
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
Randomize
