3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
I just don't have the heart to tell my mom you peed in our washer machine last night.
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
I'm microwaving a frozen bottle of Two Buck Chuck while watching The Proposal with my housemate. I'm not sure what success is like, but I'm fairly confident this isn't it.
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
So a list of things I should stay away from bringing up at dinner with your fiance tonight?
1) you and I went to a strip club 2) i saw you topless at said strip club 3) i cried when we watched the Real World
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
Randomize
