You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
My costume for the end of the world party was a success. Everyone in the ER thought I was there because I got hit by a car when it was actually from alcohol poisoning.
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
Randomize
