wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
And regarding bottomless mimosas stopping at 1 pm, there was a chick who drove her car into the back of the bar. Blame that bitch, not you peeing in the koi pond.
I was just randomly reminded of the night you were wrapped up in a bed sheet carrying a full bottle of cookie dough vodka and warning neighbors of the weirdos running around
Found some boxer briefs on my patio table this morning surrounded by a case worth of empties. Starting to remember why I have rugburn and a sore asshole.
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
He sent me a picture of a gas station condom and said "we probably shouldn't use this but if I was to impregnate someone on accident I'd want it to be you"
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
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