Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
Something about getting whistled at in my work clothes while crossing the street with three Nuvarings in my back pocket feels wrong.
They want yo temporarily sterile ass.
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
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