who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
I just had to break into my old house and steal my sex tape. Good times. How have you been?
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
Randomize
