we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
My phone really needs to stop auto correcting "library" to "ovary".
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
Randomize
