normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
I hate it when you make eye contact with someone bcs you are about to make fun of them and they take it as a hint to come hit on you.
We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
I'm calling into work tomorrow for day drinking and kitten shopping. Totally legitimate.
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
I just got into the cab. It smells like weed and the driver looks like someone who may or may not be really talented at playing the saxophone. He also asked me my thoughts on porn when I told him I'm an actor. I might not make it home.
He stopped his car in the middle of ongoing traffic to ask me to marry him. Then he got pulled over. Yeah I'd say the slutty Dallas Cowboys costume was a success.
Your hotness may or may not have landed him in jail.
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
"Nobody needs to know that I have a vibrating butt plug and nobody needs to know that I'm probably gonna start wearing it at work"
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
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